you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So squirting runs in the family.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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