She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
