Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
