i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wear drunk well.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
