great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
