the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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