even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize