fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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