so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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