Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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