oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize