Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
