you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize