He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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