I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
