he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
