just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
