Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
