Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
