I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
