i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
