just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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