So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
