I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
