Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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