Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
