Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize