Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
