p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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