She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
