Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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