you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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