Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Your cock deserves a montage
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
