she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
