that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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