You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
