so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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