come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My penis needs a shock collar
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
