White coat. Heels.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This baby is an asshole
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
