and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize