I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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