I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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