dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
