he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
