It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
