What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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