do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
