I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
