I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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