well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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