I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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