I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
