He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
