We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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