Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
