It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
