Christians are straight up FREAKS
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
